There are days when I should just not move. I don’t mean stay in bed all day but instead of being pushed and pulled by all the winsome ideas I have, I should stay put and park on the thought that has motivated all of these winsome ideas. But I didn’t do that and so inspired by my devotional reading I sprung into action and sought to start writing. BUT . . . It has taken me 15 minutes to log into this blog!!!! I’ve lost some of my momentum. So I’m going to start over by reliving the moments that got me here. (There weren’t many. Don’t worry.)

Yesterday, when temperatures left the deep freeze of single digits of the previous week, I at last got my bathroom fan/light/HEATER installed. I’m so looking forward to a shower in a warm room that ventilates that I’m putting it off until after my coffee. So out of order! So even though I had to clean up after the work crew and have already dusted and vacuumed in my nighty, I made my coffee feeling full of joy. And then I sat down in the chair I choose to start my day with a little devotional book. Full disclosure. When a dear friend gave me this book for Christmas I thought – this is gonna be full of fluff and I want meat. But I opened it and from the first day it grabbed me. So it has become the first thing I read in the morning.

Hope Speaks: God’s Voice In the Still of the Morning by Traci Fiaretti. Each entry begins with a short reading as if God is speaking directly to the reader. I find this refreshing and playful – it’s written that way. It is followed by a verse of Scripture from The Passion Translation and ends with a one sentence prayer addressing God intimately. I love it! And I move on from there and do things that are a little meatier. (I have just begun preparation for an 11-week dive into Ignatian Prayer Exercises. Phew!)

Well, today I got confronted in this light little devotional. The intro was an invitation from God to be childlike and take leaps of faith. In my joyfully buoyant mood I resonated and told God, “Yes! Let’s go!!” and also reflected on how just this week I took a leap by putting a deposit on a trip to Greece to walk in the footsteps of Paul! (It’s in October and I’m soooo excited!) But back to the confrontation.

1 Peter 1:8-9. “You love him passionately although you have not seen him,” Well yes!!! Check that off!!! “but through believing in him you are saturated with an ecstatic joy, indescribably sublime and immersed in glory.” Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! This is what has carried me this past year. Thank you, Jesus!!“For you are reaping the harvest of your faith – the full salvation promised you – your souls’ victory.” Wait. What?

The thing I bumped into there was the part about “reaping the harvest of your faith” because I think I have a lot of “works righteousness” in me. Ouch. And it occurred to me that there is a part of me that still gets stuck in that mindset of “I have to earn his love” but what I have experienced for now the last two years is the goodness, mercy, kindness, love and faithfulness of God just because I believe. How good is that?

This exuberant joy that I can’t ever explain that is like a shadow over me everyday is simply me “reaping the harvest of my faith”. And I’m pretty sure I didn’t even do any of the planting! My Father, (who happens to be the Creator and Sovereign of the universe) planted and watered and I kind of just walked in the garden and have been reaping just because I showed up! Not because I worked at it.

God does not reward based on performance. He gives generously and for no other reason than He loves us. Now it’s not like I consciously live in this performance mode, it’s just this Scripture reading today made me aware that it’s there, just under the surface and as it lurks it can create doubt. And there’s no room for that next to “ecstatic joy”. So today I choose to be grateful and celebrate the good gifts of God in my life (and a warm bathroom to shower in).

Peace