I really love the anticipation of a season change. I get excited about the solstice times of year. I think maybe because we once hiked from Scotland to England following St. Cuthbert’s Way and arrived at a spot early one morning where the solstice had been observed by a bunch of “hippies”. Knowing that we were hiking in Celtic territory at the time of Summer Solstice, that we were making a spiritual journey (with Jesus at the center), that it was early in the morning – I don’t know but it hooked me into an awareness of such things.

We are currently smack dab in the middle of winter. It’s cold. The sun is very shy. Yuck. But I’m still on the brink of a new season and I intend to be attentive to it. This season is marked by returning from a trip to California where I met with a few thousand friends at our denomination’s annual National Gathering. It was rough. I cried in every worship service, sometimes unable to sing. I was loved on by the National Staff and by friends I’ve met throughout the years. Barry’s last two roommates from seminary were both there and I was able to share tears with each of them. That all was healing and I felt so very loved.

Other things happened too. There were inspiring speakers and new ideas and future looking. I had many moments where I said to myself, “We’re going to try that!” And then there were Alex and Hannah Absalom who presented. But they didn’t just talk, they invited us into an experience. They invited us to take a moment to be still and to ask God, “What are you doing and how are you inviting me to cooperate with you in it?” As they explained a little more, my mind raced! “Yes, Lord!!! What are you doing in the Rome community? Which of these programs I’ve heard about do you want us to jump in on? I can’t wait! Let’s go?” And then it was time to actually be still and listen. This is how the conversation went. (My words are all lowercase and God gets all caps.)

lord, what are you doing in the midst of rpc and what do you want me to do to cooperate? KAREN, YOU ARE WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW, AND I NEED YOUR COOPERATION.

That was it and I was stricken. I felt like I’d been benched for the game. My compulsion to be always moving forward to move the church, to move myself, has been put on hold. I didn’t like it. But that’s the season I’m invited into. I really don’t understand it. I don’t know how to be in it. I’m not sure I want to be in it. But as I told the congregation on Sunday (it fit into the sermon), I know that if I will go where God leads me, it will be best for me and I will be my best self for RPC and for the Kingdom. God has dropped some clues and hints, a few next steps and that’s as far as I can see. I’m going to content myself to take those steps and when He’s ready, or when I’m ready, He will reveal the next.

If I were going to give this season a name today’s title would be . . . The Season of Unknowing Growing. Yeah, I’m going to sit with that for a bit. Cheers!